If blame and hurt are strong, the belief will be that the other person is at fault – the ego’s reaction is to blame the other person for being the source of the trigger – this fuels the sense of rightness in the name of being wronged – righteousness follows and there are none so blind who are wronged and righteous. They simply cannot see the other’s perspective.
If reality testing is low – a high level of subjectivity is likely – the fear story may prevail and assumptions and beliefs that aren’t actual may lead to deeper states of fear, judgment, resentment and cynicism.
If empathy is low – the seeming disregard demonstrated or felt by one may fuel the other’s fear story.
If impulse control is low – the emotion/s that emanate from the trigger dominate the experience and reactivity and subjectivity prevail.
The emotion of hurt is the experience of the trigger. The possibility of choice exists however when strong reactive emotion occurs without self regulation the opportunity for choice is limited.
If the reaction is to blame or judge, reality testing is lowered, empathy is lowered and impulsivity is increased.
If this describes a scenario that represents an opportunity for you, perhaps the possibility for choice exists. Perhaps you are curious to see what you have not yet seen?
Perhaps it is possible to lead yourself with heart through the practice of mindfulness and to come to know choice and new perspective.
In a land well trod
not flat but deep,
etched in lines of song
on ridges red by ochre
and once upon a time, by slaughter.
This at the hands of our fathers.
Now hidden in history’s shadow
the ancient’s heritage not well understood
or anguish felt for them, whose suffering
echoes across seven generations.
What could be cherished
with such spirits – the gentle natured wisdom
that does when recognised
nourish and unblemish
the white wash of ignorance
that once invoked atrocity as necessity.
To pause and touch this capacity
for recognition, to offer meagre apology
as but a humble first limp, albeit powerful beginning,
to ongoing actions of forgiveness and compassion to
heal this red land and join in unison
the lines of ancient song.
MChallis © 2015
At the end of our road
A straight road
Of dusty gravel
Well trodden in all
The waning eyelid moon
Rises omnisciently, anointing
a bedazzled sea;
light-scape dappling, dancing.
On this night
at rest at sleep, like
many others, we may
the ancient eye, in
her way to shut.
MChallis @ 2015
Between grey sheeted sky, and
grass green covered fields
Among dips and contours
clear rain water pools
Magpie and Currawong
engage the other in carol and furtive call, in
Clear precise statements, morning reverie,
tuneful trill and soulful segue, their
Full repertoire of robust conversation
brings song, community and particular joy.
MChallis © 2015