If blame and hurt are strong, the belief will be that the other person is at fault – the ego’s reaction is to blame the other person for being the source of the trigger – this fuels the sense of rightness in the name of being wronged – righteousness follows and there are none so blind who are wronged and righteous. They simply cannot see the other’s perspective.
If reality testing is low – a high level of subjectivity is likely – the fear story may prevail and assumptions and beliefs that aren’t actual may lead to deeper states of fear, judgment, resentment and cynicism.
If empathy is low – the seeming disregard demonstrated or felt by one may fuel the other’s fear story.
If impulse control is low – the emotion/s that emanate from the trigger dominate the experience and reactivity and subjectivity prevail.
The emotion of hurt is the experience of the trigger. The possibility of choice exists however when strong reactive emotion occurs without self regulation the opportunity for choice is limited.
If the reaction is to blame or judge, reality testing is lowered, empathy is lowered and impulsivity is increased.
If this describes a scenario that represents an opportunity for you, perhaps the possibility for choice exists. Perhaps you are curious to see what you have not yet seen?
Perhaps it is possible to lead yourself with heart through the practice of mindfulness and to come to know choice and new perspective.