I check the motivation for an action such as writing a poem, or preparing a meal and recognise that I’m already considering the possibility of a favourable response from others. In some cases I’m midstream in the act of comparison.
To explore the characteristics of the subtle tug of ego that looks for and seeks out recognition prior to, during and post an action. The social brain wired to the social field already considering the opinion of others – is a feature of being human. It asks: How will I compare?
In this, subtly ever subtly I lose my power and self worth to some imagined external force.
The ego’s narrative runs along.
If you like what I’m doing I’m ok.
If you do it better I’m not ok.
My prayer is to work with this awareness. To seek not to reject the instinctual but to incorporate the intuitive. To find and anchor into a motivation that is a cause for action in and of itself.
A motivation that is connected to source and not ego. A motivation that flows from the desire inherent in that which wants to come through. That which wants to be born.
Martin © 2020