What part of me do I call on in times of reaction, fear, shame, contraction, resentment, or injustice? How do I show up to my ‘Anger’, ‘Judger’, ‘Blamer’, ‘Perfectionist’, ‘Competitor & Comparer’? Who do I call on? What part of me do I find when I’m gripped by fear, bombarded by ruminating thoughts, flooded with doubt and worry? How do I meet the vulnerable parts that I know as: ‘Alone’, ‘Helpless’, ‘Impossible’, ‘Terrified’, ‘Shut down and Numb’?
If, like me, you have these questions, I trust the following contemplation is helpful.
As I show up in the day to day, I’m coming to discern a direct and proportionate correlation between my inner experience and my outer experience.
For example, I notice that: As I am kind to myself it supports me being kind to others. As I am compassionate with myself, I am more able to be compassionate with others. And as I am courageous to face certain uncomfortable truths about myself, I find courage to face certain uncomfortable situations that arise from time to time.
And then conversely; somewhat painfully and sharply I’m struck by the realisation that when at war with myself the world is at war with me. And as I sit in harsh judgment of myself there is little doubt that I am doing the same to others, and on it goes.
What arises is a deep desire to know the part of me that I may call on to guide and help me make constructive, life affirming choices. To live in the former and not the latter.
I start with the understanding that when at peace with my Self I am indeed, at peace with the outer world. I also see that when my centre is known to me, being centred helps me navigate all weathers.
What follows in this contemplation is the understanding that Self Leadership as Inner Guidance comes about from an ability to listen and receive and then to follow and trust. Which inevitably leads to making grounded choices. Is it intuition? Is it the first thought? Is it inner knowing? Is it a still small, yet powerful voice speaking simply and plainly? Is it the voice of the soul? Perhaps the answer is yes to all. I think of it now as my inner guidance system. An Inner Guide.
I notice that when I truly listen to the Inner Guide I am unshakeably at the heart and centre of being true to My Self.
From this I see that being True to My Self is couched in the ability to have an honest and clear relationship with all the parts of me.
When disturbance comes, when disruption arrives, when discomfort rises, when fear strikes: when I am caught in the question of what to do and how to show up. I am learning to turn to my True Self as the Inner Guide. There is space and spaciousness and quiet wisdom here. I am committing to strengthen a relationship with this part of me as I sense it is a most critical piece of self-leadership and dare, I say, self-love.
To follow the logic: to Love my True Self correlates to putting more Love into the World. And if ever there was a time for this, it is surely now.
As I choose to love, so may I give Love. As I choose to listen, so may I be guided. As I choose to lead, so may I follow.
Martin © 2022