For Zach B
This contemplation begins with four questions.
> What becomes possible when I move from the frame of ‘I want’ toward the frame of ‘what is wanted of me’?
> What happens within me when I shift the focus from ‘I need’ to ‘what is needed?’
> What energy manifests when the patterns of: want/don’t want, should/shouldn’t, must/mustn’t, begin to shift toward the manifestation of acceptance, and the ability to simply ‘be with what is’?
> What occurs when the ‘I’ of wanting becomes the ‘self’ of listening? Listening for what is needed in readiness to respond.
My lived experience of this movement is in the early stages. Initially I notice relaxation followed shortly after by a grip of angst. At first the contemplation brings spaciousness and peace. Then after only a few beats I notice the grip.
I sense this grip to be the ego-mind fearing a loss of power. It kicks in and uses an instinctual survival lever in an attempt to maintain its primacy and the status quo. It does not believe it can have its needs met unless it remains in a perpetual state of readiness to defend itself and/or take what it needs.
It assumes the ‘I’ as seperate from the whole and that it will not be taken care of, unless placed at the centre of all eventualities.
And so I set out to reassure it with the following:
As I stay longer in the state of listening I notice greater spaciousness, ease, and peace. In a state of listening I see clearly that the frame of ‘what is wanted’, is inclusive. In any given situation ‘what is wanted of me’ could well be: to assert a boundary, to take up a cause, to take care of self, to let go a hurt.
Shifting from an ‘ego’ mind toward an ‘eco’ mind moves away from fragmentation toward connection. Away from the central assumption of separateness toward the understanding of wholeness. With Fear driving separateness and Love informing wholeness, the felt experience of the former and the latter show up in remarkable contrast.
Eco Mind does not imply homogeneity. It does not imply abandonment of survival instincts. It points to the understanding that the source motivation for all action and movement can be an attuned response at the deepest level, to what is arising, to what is needed.
The doorway to the experience of Eco Mind appears to open in me as a state of presence. As Being and Doing align I am able to be in a state of ‘Withness’. Able to: Be With what is arising.
I see clearly that if I’m caught in Psychological time – past or future, the rumination of Ego Mind, be it anxiety or fear keeps the doorway firmly shut. The finite loops and patterns of rumination equate to an attempt to solve problems with the same thinking that created them.
In my understanding and continuing practice, what becomes possible in the movement toward the frame of ‘what is wanted’ ‘what is needed’ and the ‘Self of Listening’ is the opening of a doorway to an infinite field of potentiality. A connection to Life energy itself. Toward, as a dear friend once shared, ‘an ability and the choice to Trust Life.
Martin with Love. © 2022